My Eldest Daughter sum it up - My Parents’ marriage and mine

Friday, December 5, 2014

Happy Friday 

I hope this week was a wonderful one

My Parents’ marriage and mine

They live forever happily thereafter…that is usually what most fairy tale stories that Disney World projected to us. This particular fairy tale story gives me a false expectation that will be high calling for me because my temper is too short and also my patience level is simply too low.

Do I blame my parents unrealistic expectations of LOVE and MARRIAGE that are simply too good to be true? My dad always said that “It is the Father that finds the husband for his daughter”. Do you agree?

My parents celebrated their 31st anniversary on Tuesday, Dec 2 that is also my dad’s birthday (my mom always jokes that he purposely chosen this day because of his short memory). My dad hardly works on his birthday because he will go to Bukit Timah Hill asking the monkeys why he was brought into this world. Also, this is the day he does his reflection of – what he has achieved in the last 11 months of the year? what new skills he learned? He always tells us that if by the month of December, you do not learn any new skill then you have wasted the whole year! He added that work performance given and if you have failed, it is your boss’ fault. But, if you didn’t learn a new skill; it is your own fault. There are many people who are doing the same old skills repeatedly and claimed that they have 10 years of experiences. My dad will usually rebutted that they simply have only one year of skill-set multiply by 10 times.

Since Bukit Timah Hill will be closed for 2 years restoration, he decided to do out of the norm together with my mom in embarking on a two weeks of holidaying with my husband and I. We are in the last leg of Bali-Indonesia, Bangkok-Thailand and now presently enjoying in Hong Kong!

Looking at my parents’ 31 years of marriage and after being married myself (June 1st 2014), I have came to realize that their relationship is built on different layers of rock by rock in rarity and exceptional sacrifices.

They share decades of inside jokes and tease each other. Dad still teases mom over a chicken backside that he gave her to eat during a trip in Malaysia that eventually courting her into marriage, 31 years ago! Not forgetting that my Dad is always fiercely protective towards my mom. If any other family members of my dad bad-mouthing mom, Dad will be defencing her at all costs. He never allows us to talk back to our mom. During our younger days, when we are rude to mom, he will thundered his no-nonsense voice and made us to face the wall until we realized our mistakes.
It is a good thing that my dad decided to retire from his full time job to travel a bit more with his wife. He told us that it is payback time for her hard labor of keeping us and our home in order. After dad retirement, they found a way to keep their relationship both comfortable and surprising by combining a warm familiarity with the willingness to try new things together by letting go of the old. Often travelling to Dad’s Setia office in JB and teach each other new things in dad’s new teaching Qualiprenuer programmes.

Never think that our parents are a single decision making entity when comes to meting punishment. Both my parents, never play one parent against the other. They always make decision collectively and even in having to occasionally quarrel or getting into each other nerves (usually at this point either my mom or dad will walk away to cool off), they will always try their best to work it out quickly and never let it spills into other interactions.

After my own marriage, I asked my mom how they managed to keep our family intact. She responded – “Mutual Trust, Commitment as well as Give and Take Attitude”. Her philosophy – Always (F)ollow his dreams, (S)upport him silently from behind and (Y)ounqiuely cooks him ‘shiok’ dinners awaiting for him to comes home safely from work greeting him with a smile and he will gives me all his money! Our dad hardly ever goes to the bank and ATM for money or using his credit cards without first checking with mom. She gives him $2 a day for his meals/expenses allowance (minus out dinners and weekends meals as mom usually cooks)…poor dad!

I can understand all those fairy tales on building relationships are rare, maybe only a few that you can find in Disney World. I will have to compare my own stubbornness, less perfect relationship with that of my parents’ wondering how they have managed to be so accepting and welcoming of each other.
Well, they have practiced it for the last 31 years and my dad teaches us that only correct practices make lives better. I have 30 years to perfect my dad’s model… who knows? Only time will tell. Will my dad be here to witness it??? I hope so!!! He will be 89 years old by then.

My mom & dad are Rocks! We, as their children are forever thankful that our family are built on a solid rock foundation of unconditional Love.

BTW, my dad is launching his new teaching next year “Make Money & Love Safety & Quality”. My dad’s teachings is always about “LOVE” that is Listening, Observe, Verbalize and Engage…dad says “no more work, no more career, Teach! It is his calling” not for free though but, for a fee of $5,665 to living a comfortable retirement life.

I believe that when your dad and mom care deeply, Listening, Observe, Verbalize and Engage (LOVE) for each other then their children will grow up in an environment that is full of LOVE…

Happy Anniversary to mom and dad especially to dad, a Quality Holiday Birthday too!!! Your relationship remind me that LOVE is built on different layers of rocks year after year and it can works because your teachings work – Quality Work; Quality Life will be in our hearts…and… yes, we know! – A dollar saved is a dollar earned.

From Cheryl (eldest daughter) Just married with a new life, new being, learning tricks and treats from dad endlessly.

Sharing is Good; Sharing is Caring

Every time you pass this Friday Sharing w/You along to a friend or colleague, you make the world a better world! – Copy, Paste & Send